Questions & Answers Volume 1

Here's a new feature I want to try out... I receive millions and trillions of emails and questions everyday, so I figured I might as well try to actually answer some of them... that's about the gist of it... here we go...

Q: How do you feel about this dismal 0-2 start?

A: How do you think I feel... shitty! With such a talented team, it's shocking that they suck this much.


Q: What changes do you think would benefit Dallas this year?

A: Where to begin... how about a new coach, a new offensive coordinator, a new kicker... oh hell, just scrap the whole team and start over... if we were in rebuilding years, at least we would have a viable excuse for all these losses piling up.


Q: Why do you think Dez Bryant was only targeted on offense twice versus last game where he was targeted 12 times?

A: Because Jason Garrett is a fucking idiot. Dez wasn't even on the field much at all. After the punt return touchdown, he could've been set up to have a record breaking game if only he was actually playing on offense and using his momentum from that touchdown. it's just another sign of Garrett fucking this team over.


Q: Do you think Dallas has a chance against The Texans next week?

A: Sure they have a "chance" but this team has not given me any confidence that they will actually win. I don't have confidence about the play-calling, the coaching or the kicker, and if Witten and Mike Jenkins are out next week, my confidence will drop even further. I say it'll be a miracle if they can turn it around and go 1-2 heading into the bye week.


Q: After seeing these first two games, how do you expect Dallas to finish the season?

A: A lot will depend on the next two games. If they can somehow win at Houston and then carry that victory over the bye and beat Tennessee at home, they will be 2-2 heading to Minnesota. 2-2 is much easier to stomach than 0-4... (if they go 0-4, I will consider this season a wash and just hope they can win a couple games,) if they go 2-2 and show 'some' promise, I think they have a shot at going 9-7... not sure about the playoffs though... these NFC games were the games they needed to win... winning against AFC teams isn't going to mean much when it comes down to tiebreakers for playoff spots.


Q: How long will it be before they get rid of Buehler?

A: Should have been last week, but for some reason Jerry Jones has a hard-on for this kid and is telling us that his 'instincts are telling him to be patient with Buehler'... fuck... The NFL is a great sport, but there's only 16 games... if Beuhler misses another crucial kick next week inside the 40 yard line and they don't cut him or at least find a dedicated field goal kicker, I will be absolutely shocked beyond belief.


Q: What's up with Romo?

A: What do you mean? He was about average in this game, not great, but not horrible. He wasn't the entire reason they lost. He had some inaccurate passes, but the interceptions weren't his, they were both tipped or bobbled catches. I still wouldn't want any other quarterback under center for Dallas (except maybe Peyton Manning.)


Q: What's up with Roy Williams?

A: He is officially a bust... although many were saying that two years ago, but after his most recent fumble in the forth quarter which pretty much took the game away from Dallas, it's hard not to hate him.


Q: How do you think Dallas will fair against the NFC East this year?

A: Well, we are only one game down, The Giants, Philly and Washington are all 1-1, and Dallas is 0-2... although one of our loses is to Washington, I still think Dallas could come out ahead in the division... a lot of things will have to go right though, and that includes a lot of NFC East rival losses.


Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: Well a woodchuck can chuck wood, but how much depends on a lot of optimistic variables. To say that a woodchuck could chuck as much as a woodchuck could, he will be chucking a lot of wood, but most woodchuck's just aren't ready for the amount of wood chucking that they should be doing. Laziness, plain and simple. The answer is 6.


Q: When is it time to push the panic button?

A: Most people would agree that now is the time for Dallas to push the panic button... I will wait until this upcoming Sunday's game. If Dallas goes 0-3 into the bye, the alarms will definitely be sounding.